Not your average woman

I think it's important to really know yourself. To know who you really are, what you like, what you dislike, what you truly value and believe in, what your goals and dreams are. It's especially important to know this when you're apart from someone else. You need to really look at yourself when you're alone, because it's all too easy to let someone come along and influence you to be someone or soemthing that you're not.

That said, I have been trying to really come to know myself. And one thing I am quickly realizing is that I'm not an average woman. Not at all. Nor am I an easy woman to understand. In fact, I can almost be contradicting in some of my behaviors and thoughts.

So, how am I unusual? Here are some examples.

1. Most women love roses. They want roses for special occasions. I think roses are boring and plain. Lilies, especially stargazer lilies, are my favorite flowers to receive. They're stately and elegant... powerful too. Lily of the Valley is actually quite poisionous... for some reason, I like that. The flower demands respect, it needs to be handled with care.

2. Most women like diamonds. I don't prefer them. Pearls are my favorite gem. They're a testament to patience and perserverance in the midst of trouble. An ordinary piece of sand that is a nuisance and an irritant to the oyster, over time, is changed to something beautiful and precious. Something worthless is now priceless. It reminds me of my Christian walk. I started out as an ordinary piece of sand. Through God's patience and work, he transforms me into something beautiful and precious. I like that.

3. Most women want an engagement ring, and a big one at that. Quite frankly, I really could care less if I got a ring. I'm not kidding. A big expensive ring is worthless if it comes from someone who doesn't really love me. I'd much rather have a man who loves me and respects me and have no ring and live my life poor, than to have a big expensive diamond ring, and tons of fancy things, and have a man who cheats on me and lies to me and doesn't treat me the way I should be treated. And if I get an engagement ring, I would like it to be small. It needs to pass what I call "the pocket test." If the ring gets stuck when I'm trying to put my hand in my pocket, it's too big, and I don't want it.

4. I would prefer a small intimate wedding rather than a big lavish one. The idea of eloping (although I want to be married by a pastor, no JP business) actually rather appeals to me.

5. I would prefer to rough it out camping than go to a beach for vacation. Not that I don't ever want to go to the beach, I like the beach. But camping and being around the woods and the nature that's in it appeals to me more than the ocean. Give me squirrels and racoons and spiders and snakes any day over crabs, sharks, jellyfish, and sandfleas.

6. I know more about my car and how it works than most men I know, let alone any girls. I can change my own tires, I check my oil, transmission fluid, power steering fluid, window washing fluid. I know the parts of my car so if something breaks down I have a general idea what may be wrong when I open the hood. I know how my engine works and can explain the difference between internal and external combustion engines and 4, 6, and 8 cylinder engines. And I like knowing that.

7. I really enjoy tinkering and fixing things. At college, my roommate clogged the sink by accidently pouring grease down the drain. I took the sink apart and removed the clogged and fixed it. I re-caulked our tub at college because the orginal caulk was all moldy. My current apartment bedroom door literally fell off the hinges because the wood in the hinge was so rotted, and I fixed it myself by sawing off a piece of a dowel rod and pushing that into the hole in the orginal wood, and then screwed the door into the dowel rod. I put together much of my own furniture, thanks to the massive coleman tool kit my Dad got me, along with my drill. I even have a table-top vice. That I have used, by the way. More than once.

These are all some of my unique aspects of myself that although they aren't ideal feminine traits, I love them about myself. They make me, me. And I'm not completely anti-feminine. I hate leaving the house without makeup. I don't need a lot of makeup, but I am honest enough to know that I look better with at least some light makeup on. I'm vain about my hair... I love it. I LOVE shoes, like most women do. I love to dress up in beautiful dresses... I like to dress well in general. I love accessories, be it hair accesories such as my polynesian flower (the maintenance guys at work love that) or my many scarves, or my big colorful costume jewelery. I love animals... of course the cute cuddly ones, but even the creepy things not many people like, such as spiders and rats and things like that. In fact, I decided that my perfect first date would be something involving animals, like going to a zoo or helping out at a shelter or something.

Some other things about me that I've realized lately- I'm not photogenic. This is more disturbing to me because both my sisters are about as photogenic as you can possibly be. Which of course makes me look even worse. But that's life I guess. Another thing is that I love to eat. I have a sweet tooth of ridiculous proportions. I love to hang out with friends and socialize, but I definitely need my space as well. Hanging around the house just reading and watching movies with people I love is one of my most favorite things to do. I can quote movies and sing all the songs from animated movies and broadway shows after seeing them only once (a trait I share with my sisters... it's entertaining to see us all in action! Ask us to act out the Swan Princess sometime... it's a riot!) Also, I love to bake. Not only so that I can eat my delicious creations, but because I love to share them with others and see the delight it brings. I love to serve. My whole family does, I'd say serving is our greatest spiritual gift. Also, I enjoy working out, but strength training is my preferred method. Basic cardio sucks.

There are a million other facets about me that I could list here, but that takes away all the mystery and besides that, I've made my point. The posting above describes a unique, interesting individual, who's worth getting to know, who's worth becoming friends with, who's worth loving. We all need to take a good look at ourselves and see who we really are, what is is that makes us uniquely us. Because if we don't know ourselves, we can't love ourselves, and if we can't love ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to? And isn't that one of the biggest things we all want? To be loved? Especially for who we really are?

Get to know yourself this week. It'll be worth it in the end.

Busy February!

Bah. I know I've been so behind in posts, and I hate that and I'm sorry! I was just really busy/stressed for a lot of February.... with the bad weather, and lots of events for Church, and looking for a new apartment. Well thankfully, I spoke the truth with my roommate Chris, and explained how I felt about the situation (living with a guy) and that was why I didn't want to live with him anymore, and that I would like to stay in the apartment because I was here first and I love it. Chris was very forgiving and kind about the situation and has graciously agreed, so I'm staying in my apartment! Yay! And Suzanne (my friend from Church) loves it and is moving in with me! So come April 1st or so, I'll be having a new roommie! :)

Some things going on with Church- I have a mentor now, Theresa, whom I love, we get along so well, she's so much fun. We finally got to meet up for chai lattes (both our favs!) at the Cream and Sugar Cafe in Wayne (highly recommend it, by the way!) and really got to talk. Also, both my community groups and my Grow class have been keeping me busy. Early in February, I had planned a service project with my Mon night CG. We made tons of various homemade baked goods (cookies, brownies, rice crispie treats, ect) and packaged 6 different boxes with the assorted baked goods, as well as valentines candy and homemade cards. This was actually supposed to be for our fellow singles groups. However, the huge snowstorm on the 9-10 made that impossible, so we improvised and took 5 of the care packages into the Church on Tuesday, to be a blessing for the Pastors, the staff, and all their families. The 6 package was taken to the city team. So it was nice to be able to bless and thank our Pastors, and now, we'll get to do this again in the future, and hopefully this time get it to our fellow singles groups.

February also brought many surgeries for my friends, so I've been making meals and goodies for some people throughout the month. And while my friend Will didn't have surgery, he's in law school right now and is super busy and overwhelmed with all the classwork, and the many other obligations he has. So last Friday, I took chicken stir fry, fresh bread (with olive oil and cracked pepper for dipping) and homemade apple crisp over to Will (and his roommate Chris) and had dinner with them. Chris is actually the leader of my Tues. night community group, that's where I met both him and Will. It was really nice to enjoy the meal and fellowship with them... I'm already planning more meals to bring the next couple of months!

It's looking like March will be just as busy... for instance, this coming weekend holds two birthday parties and a baby shower! Friday night is Kayte's birthday party (my best friend at CFC) while Sat afternoon is my cousin Sherry's baby shower, and Sat evening is Suzanne's birthday (my soon to be new roommate). March is ALSO my cousin Dee's birthday (the 2) Becky's bday (the 16) Britty's bday (the 23) and my cousin Nick's bday (the 30). Not to mention, Kayte just became engaged to my dear friend and Mon night CG leader Jason, and I was asked to help plan Kayte's bridal shower! I'm so excited for them both. Come to think of it, January/February brought a lot of engagements at Church.... 4 different couples became engaged in the span of a couple weeks! And that's only ones I know of.... there are probably more than that. So that means this summer will be busy as well!

Speaking of summer, I cannot wait for it. I booked the beach house at OC New Jersey again for the beginning of the summer, June 5-11. It's not quite as warm, but it's such a steal! So much cheaper to rent the house, plus it's before the official season starts so there aren't any crowds, and the restaurants and shops haven't raised their prices yet. We had a great time last year, I can't wait to go again. The only bad thing is that Beck won't be with us this year. :( She won't be home again until September, because she's in our friend Christina's wedding, which is Sep. 25. Coincidentally though, that will also be at OC NJ, so we're going to rent the beach house again for that weekend. Although knowing Catherine (my landlady, she owns my apt building and the beach house) she'll let us stay that weekend for free. I love Catherine, she's the best landlady ever!

Ok... I think that's most of the updates from February. Stay tuned to see what March brings! (And hopefully, it's not more snow!!!)

!@#E$@ SNOW!!!!

I hate snow. I hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it

LOATHE ENTIRELY......

I found a poem by this girl Emily M. It's perfect. It says,

"Dear Winter: SUCK IT."

AMEN!!!

February... shortest or longest month?

Sigh. I'm sorry I've been so bad at posting lately.... I've just been so unmotivated since Christmas. I've been feeling so lazy and just blah-ish at work.... it's bad now that my co-worker came back. I love her and I'm glad she's back, it's just that now, I have a lot less on my plate, and I can't believe it, but I kind of... well, I miss the crazy hectic pace I had when she was gone. I love having a lot to do, coming into work with purpose, having a list to check off, just roll from one thing to the next to the next... I hate trying to find things to do, I hate being bored at work, and that's what's currently happening. It doesn't help that I'm slightly in-between projects at the moment, and this crap winter weather CERTAINLY doesn't help. :P Luckily, I think the pace at work will pick up shortly. I'll just have to ride this out till then.

Some updates since I've last posted- I'll be moving at the end of March/beginning of April. I'm so sad to leave my apartment, I love it, and I will especially miss my sweet landlady Catherine. But I really won't miss having a male roommate. Even though Chris was pretty ok for a guy, I just didn't like it. So, I'll be moving in with my friend Suzanne- we met through Church, so not only is she a girl, and my friend, she's a Christian! Yay! We haven't found a place yet, though we've been looking around and have found some good prospects. We'll hopefully get to check them out Feb 13.... please pray for us! :)

Speaking of Church, I've been keeping busy there! I've still been attending both my community groups, and I'm really enjoying the 10 month Grow course- we're halfway through now. I planned a service project with my Mon night CG to serve our fellow singles community groups... so I'll be baking up a storm this weekend for that! We're making care packages full of all sorts of baked goodies and candy and notes for the different groups. I'm so excited!

Also, due to the Women's meeting I attended in January, I now have a mentor at my Church. I've always had a mentor-type person at every Church I've been at, and I missed the mentorship/friendship of Pam and Steve and Brian and Mary, the two couples at my former Church. Theresa has been great, we really hit it off through email and we're getting together for coffee next week. I think I'll really learn a lot from her, and her friendship and guidance has already been such a blessing to me.

I've also started finding places to serve within the Church, now that I'm an official member. I prayed a lot about it, and so this past Sunday, I took my place with the audio duplication team. We make CD copies of the sermons for people to take to others who couldn't make it that Sunday, or for evangelistic means. I definitely felt it was the place for me, because not only did they really need the help, but this ministry has a special place in my heart, because I watched my Dad serve our home Church for years in that way. Of course, back then, it was on tape cassettes, not CD's, and he only made 5-6 copies, not the 100+ we do each Sunday. Still, the purpose is the same, and it's a joy for me to follow in my Dad's footsteps. :)

Anyway, although I generally dislike the month of February (does anyone else feel that for the shortest month, it can feel like the longest??) I do have a lot to look forward to. The superbowl is this Sunday, and this Saturday I'm going to have a blast baking the day away with my mom and sister, next Saturday I'll be having breakfast with my friend Alexis, going apartment hunting with Suzanne, and ending the evening with a Valentine's party at Phil's house. I'll be getting together with Theresa next Thursday as well. President's Day, I took the day off, so I can just relax with Britty. Later during that week, I'm going out to lunch with Phil and Christina (we all work so close together, it seemed like the perfect idea!) Towards the end of the month, Steph is going to have an open mic night at her house, so I need to think of what I'm going to do for that. Not to mention I have two Grow meetings somewhere in there.... and my dear cousin AJ is turning 21 on February 27, can't forget that! I surely have to be there to help him celebrate. :) So, although February is normally kind of a bummer month, it looks like I have a lot to look forward to. :)

And how could I have forgotten? February already had a great start. I went to H&R Block today to get my 2009 taxes done... and found out that I'm getting a hefty refund back! :D Woohoo! A lot of that money is going to my vacation account.... my family is looking to perhaps due a cruise around Christmastime. We are usually so traditional, we need a change... I couldn't believe when my Dad suggested it! So that refund will certainly help that fund. :)

Ok, hopefully, I will blog again soon! Till then, enjoy your month of February! Hopefully it's looking to be as good as mine is!