Sigh

So, my roommate search is proving to be harder than I orgininally thought, which has me in a myriad of emotions including but not limited to frustration, worry, fear, depression, and hopelessness. Ironically, sitting here on my parents computer desk are notes from an old sermon given a couple weeks ago, which I do remember. It was titled "Waiting Well" and is about the importance of waiting on God, how it refines us and is a huge learning experience for us. Waiting is the classroom of the Christian life, according to the sermon. I know this in my head, I do.

But knowing something and doing something, or not doing something, as the case may be, are two different things. I know I'm supposed to be patient and wait on God and give all my worries to him, and I know I've stated this before, but it's SO hard for me. I am not patient, and beyond that, I am not good at being very dependent on anyone other than myself or a few select others. So of course God would want to refine those characteristics in me, and of course, though I know this, I try to do things my own way, at my own timing, all the time. This goes nowhere and only leads to the aforementioned emotions listed above.

Sigh. All I can ask is PLEASE pray for me during this time. I desperately need it!