Bellydance

I signed up for a 4 week bellydance class through mainline school night, and yesterday was my first night. I got a little lost getting to the school (I really didn't realize that Conestoga high school in Berwyn would be so far off the beaten track, sheesh!) but once I got there, I was ready to try out the magic of bellydance!

My instructor is incredibly talented. She moves so smoothly, like liquid. Watching her makes me believe her bones are made of rubber, and compared to her, I look like a mummy, so stiff and stilted. :P It's much harder than it looks! She explained that in order to do the moves correctly, you really have to understand the history behind bellydance and the culture it comes from. Understanding the women of the middle east, and how these moves are completely natural for them, helps to visualize and feel the movements. I've been trying and practicing and it has gotten a little easier, though I definitely need more work!

I think one of the reasons it's hard for me to catch on to the movements is that bellydance is an expression of sensual femininity. It's embracing and celebrating who you are as a woman. I don't know how to embrace that feeling, really. Growing up in the U.S. it's hard to embrace yourself fully as a woman, because everywhere we turn, we're faced with people telling us we have to look and act a certain way in order to be beautiful. That we need to be a certain size, a certain shape, wear certain clothes, do certain things. Day after day we see and hear people telling us we're not good enough, but we should do this or that to become better. I try not to listen to that, but it's so hard. It's hard not to believe that.

More than anything, I hope this class helps me to forget what the world says about who I should be, and start accepting myself as I am.