Becky's home!

Yay, Becky's home! After nine long months of not seeing her, my family and I drove down to the Philly airport yesterday to pick her up. It's so nice to have her back home! We have lots of fun things planned- cookie baking, watching Christmas movies, visiting Christmas village, doing some last minute Christmas shopping, going to Christmas parties and events, meeting up with friends.... this week should be fun filled and wonderful!

But above all, let's not forget the real reason we celebrate Christmas. It's so easy to get caught up in the fun and commercialism of Christmas, but without the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to save us all, though we don't deserve it.... that's the real reason I celebrate Christmas. Christmas, the celebration of my savior's birth... thank you Father, for such an amazing blessing!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Don't forget the real reason for this season!

Wonderful Weekend

I had such a lovely weekend! Friday started gloriously, because I knew I had a half day at work- the other half was the holiday lunch for LIMR. It was held at Yangming, a really nice Chinese restaurant in Bryn Mawr. Everything was delicious and it seemed like everyone had a really good time. Also really nice was that I got to leave for home early, so I made awesome time driving to Kutztown, since I missed the bulk of the traffic. Saturday, my mom and I went out to lunch at Red Lobster for her birthday, which is tomorrow. Then we did some Christmas shopping. It seems that no matter how hard I try to NOT buy anything for myself, I succumb. In NY&Co, one of my favorite clothing stores, I bought the most awesome shoes ever! They're (fake) cobra-skin platform high heels. I can't wait to wear them! And the best part was, they were on sale for $7.00! Yay! :)

Sunday was a busy day. We woke up early and went to the early service at Church, and then we did some grocery shopping. After coming home I wrapped up all the Christmas presents I had, and then we made Christmas cookies! Yum yum yum. We made peanut butter cookies, andes-mint chip cookies, and our family favorite, sugar cookies. We get very elaborate with our decorations. I'd put pics up but they're on the computer at my parents house.... so that will have to wait till Friday, when I'm home again.

Only 4 more days of work before I have a wonderful whole week off! Yay! And the best part is, only 5 more days till Becky comes home!!!! I can't wait!! :)

I love the Christmas season! :)

Oh, I just love Christmas, and the whole Christmas season! For purely commercial reasons, I love all the lights, the decorations, the trees, the music. I love the time with family. I love celebrating my savior's birth! Christmas has always been my favorite holiday.

One of my best Christmas presents this year is that my sister is coming home again for Christmas! She works overseas and I haven't seen her since March (that's the longest I've ever been away from her in my entire life) and I miss her so much. We didn't think she'd be able to come home for Christmas again this year, since she came home last year, but somehow she managed it, yay!!! So we're picking her up at the airport next Saturday, December 20th. I can't wait.... only 10 more days!!!!

Enjoy the holiday season everyone! More posts to come on all my holiday fun! :)

The opening of my eyes, re-awakening of my dreams

Twice this past week, I've been faced with the unsettling fact that I am a predictable creature of routine. Well, I've known that about myself for quite a while, but lately, I've been thinking more often about it, and been feeling.... discontented. I want to change that. I have to wonder, am I a predictable person who follows routine and constancy because I really want to, or because I'm afraid to take risks? I've always thought it was my nature to be predictable, to love and thrive on consistency and routine, but the way I've feeling in recent months, I'm not so sure. I think I've been using it as an excuse to cover up my fear. Fear of trying new things, fear of taking risks and getting hurt or failing. Although I do have a nature of consistency, I don't want to use it as a crutch. I don't want to look back on my life, or go through my life, feeling discontent and feeling regrets because I've been afraid to do something. Afraid to reach out for something I really want, for whatever reason.

My eyes have been opened a bit this week. First, I received an email from a nutritionist/fitness expert, Brad Pilon, who stated that unless you get out of your comfort zone, you'll never change. You'll never get what you want. And he's right. I like staying in my comfort zone, not because I really enjoy it, but because it's easy. I'm being lazy, and I'm allowing fear to rule my life. Another eye opener I had was when I was reading a book this week. The female protaganist is an adventurer, flitting from one thing to the next. She meets the male protaganist, who has closed himself off from all risks, and has settled into a life of boring routine. In the book, they have this conversation, and Isobel states that there's a risk in everything worth doing.

She's right. I can continue on in my life, doing the same thing day in and day out, because it's easy, comfortable, and low-risk. But it's also boring. It's easier to be single, I think. But is it better? In some ways, yes. But I think life can be so much richer when you share it with someone else. I want that. I tolerate my current job, I like certain things, but I know I can't do it my whole life. It will suck my heart out of me. I love working with the animals too much to give it up, but I can't do research with the animals my whole life. As much as I try to keep them comfortable and safe, there are times when I can't do that. And it kills me inside. It literally breaks my heart. Some days, when I'm alone in the animal room, I'll hold some of the mice and weep over them. They're just tiny mice. Important to not many people. But they're important to me. I love them, I love all animals, and I always have. I've wanted to be vet since I was eight years old, and I wanted that for so long. Until I started getting older, and realizing all the obstacles ahead of me. The rigorous schooling, all the money involved, how hard it is to get accepted into vet school. And I got scared, and I let that dream go. And I settled. I settled for something less than I wanted, something less than I dreamed of, and I'm paying for it. Every time I hurt a mouse, instead of healing it, I hate myself. Even as I write this I'm crying over them. Research is a necessary evil, it has saved so many lives. I don't regret that, but I do wish we never had to do it in the first place. Oh Eve, if only you could have seen all the affects of your taking that fruit. So many people forget that the world was a perfect place in Eden, where death and sickness didn't exist. Because of our sin, sickness abounds. Research is needed, and while I'm happy I can help humanity, I'm sick of hurting the animals that I love so much.

Since leaving college, I've been searching. Searching for what to do with my life that would make me happy and joyous. Searching for the calling God had given me. And it seemed so elusive. I'd shoved all memories of my childhood dreams aside. People kept telling me I should do this, or that, and I'd believe them for a while, and look into what they suggested, but nothing seemed right. I had no drive for it, no passion. Not for being a pharmacist, or a doctor, or a physician assistant. Then as I started at Lankenau, people noticed me with the mice. How much I cared for them in even the littlest things, how I'd wrap them in a blanket of gauze strips after performing ultrasounds, how I check the little pups after I wean them from the mother to make sure they're eating and drinking right. And they mentioned how I'd make a really good vet, and all of a sudden, my dreams rushed right back. And it finally felt right. Kind of like coming home after a really long trip, or finding your way after being lost for a while. That sense of peace and relief and knowing.

I'm glad I've re-awakened those long ago dreams, but I am a little scared. Forget that, I'm a lot scared. I have a lot of hard, hard work and sacrifice ahead of me if I want to pursue this goal and succeed. Before I even start, I need to take a stats class, to fulfill my scholastic requirements. I have to take the GRE's, and do well. I have to start looking for vets to volunteer for, so I get more experience with animals and so I can get a good recommendation for vet school. Then I have to apply, and the hardest of all, get in. I also have to look for all the scholarships I can, because vet school is extremely expensive. I've discovered that there are few vet schools in the US, and you're best bet is getting into the school in your State. Unfortunately, UPenn is the only vet school in PA, and it's quite expensive. Not only that, it's located in the city, which I despise. I dread going to school in the city, and even worse, living there. But it's a sacrifice I'll have to make if I want to succeed. And I do want to succeed. I do want this. I know there are risks. Risks of trying and not succeeding. Risks of hefty school loans that will take YEARS to pay off. Risks of putting other aspects of my life on hold so I can achieve this goal. But like Isobel said, there's always risks in something worth doing. And I truly believe that this is worth doing.

Dr. Jennifer R. Pyle, D.V.M. I like it. :)

Counting my blessings

Man, was I really miserable a week ago.

I hate when I get miserable like that and want to fall into the old "woe is me" routine. Last Saturday I was just plain angry miserable, but Sunday I was depressed miserable because the tax problem I thought had been fixed arose again. I was frustrated and upset and scared, too. Would it ever be fixed? By Tuesday night I was really moping around my apartment feeling sorry for myself, when I finally snapped out of it. Why was I sitting around feeling sorry for myself over such a small thing? Why was I so angry over the weekend about such stupid, insignificant problems? Sure, it's understandable to get upset over things, but to dwell on them the way I did certaintly wasn't healthy for me. Or pleasant for anyone in the near vicinity of me. And was worrying about my tax situation really helping? There are so many verses in the Bible saying to lay down your worries on God, he'll take care of it. Can worrying add a single moment to your life? I know from experience that the answer is NO.

So I took a good look at my blessings Tuesday night, and could finally fall asleep in peace. So was it a surprise that I finally had email contact with a real person on Wednesday morning, who can help me with my tax problem? :) When I finally stopped worrying about the situation and handed it completely over God, things started happening. And even though I know that in my head, when situations like this arise, it's still so hard for me to not want to do it all myself. Sometimes in my faith, I'm still so like a little child.

Anyway, since I started thinking of all my blessings, such as my health, my family, my salvation, my apartment, my job, my car, my friends, my Church, my able working body, ect. I had a great Thanksgiving. This whole weekend was just wonderful, I was so looking forward to a 4 day weekend. Thursday, my parents and my sister and I headed up to my Aunt and Uncle's house for Thanksgiving. It was a huge get together... the meal was for 23 adults and 3 young children! But everything went really well. Normally, we do holidays with my Dad's side of the family, but this Thanksgiving was with my mom's side, and it was really nice. When we got home from that, Britt and I headed up to our other Aunt and Uncle's house (Dad's side) to play games with his side of the family. We watched the Andromeda Strain, as well as playing the Match Game. It was a great time.

Friday, my family hides away for black friday craziness. My mom had to work, but my Dad and Britt and I went to lunch, and then came back and decorated the house for Christmas. We did it in record time this year! It went so smoothly. Which was nice, because my mom came home from work sick, so it was good we got everything done so fast so she could rest in bed. Later that evening, my Dad and I watched the Santa Claus. It ended a great day.

Saturday, my mom was still sick, but my Dad and I headed out to pick out our Christmas tree. We love concolor firs for Christmas trees. The needles are soft, not prickly, the trees have a citrusy scent (kind of like tangerines or oranges... smells so good!) and the way the trees grow, the ornaments just hang really nice on the tree, as opposed to Douglas firs. So we picked out the perfect tree and came home and set it up. Later, my Dad and Britt and I made Christmas cookies and caramel corn popcorn. Sooo delicious! And to end the evening, Britt, myself, our Aunt Dani, and our cousins Dee, AJ, and Joey went to the movies to see Madagascar 2. It was ok, but definitely not as funny as the first one. This second one was kind of weird, actually.

Anyway, it was a great weekend, and I really don't want it to end! But in three weeks, I'll be looking at a week long break for Christmas already! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, and enjoy a wonderful Christmas season!

EXTRA miserable!!!!

So I leave the gym this morning to discover my tire is quite low, almost bordering on flat. So I go to the Sunoco by my house to fill the tire with more air. I couldn't find the air hose, so I parked and went inside to ask if they even had an air hose. They said they did, and then asked "Do you need any help?"

Shoot me now. Please. Because like an IDIOT, I said yes.


BIG MISTAKE. I KNOW this, I've been burned before. Single young girl+ old car+ city mechanics = rape. They take you for all they can get. And, they did.

Instead of leaving with my tire filled with air, ($.50) or leaving with the hole in my tire patched and filled with air ($22.00) I left with a new tire I DIDN'T NEED OR WANT, which means I also paid the exhorbitant B.S. "labor fees" plus being told I need an oil change and I have a small oil leak ($137.00). And that $137.00 was just for the tire and labor fees, I didn't do anything about the SUPPOSED oil leak or oil change. What the?????? Just LAST weekend, I took my car to a mechanic at home and spent $131.00 on a new muffler, the labor of getting it put on, plus a general checkup of the car PLUS removal of a broken joint and welding of the exhaust pipe. God only knows how much I'd have been charged for that at this Sunoco. Probably over $1,000 plus the promise of my first born child. I was so livid when I left there, and I've been really mad about it since.

Grrr. I suppose I'd better try and calm down, because bursting my blood vessels and having to go to the hospital would make me even MORE miserable. If that were possible. Which at this point, I'm not sure of.

Miserable.

Ugh. I spent most of this week sick with a miserable cold, yet still trudged off to work to bust my butt to get tons of stuff done before the holidays roll around. Being sick I didn't make it to the gym at all, so I feel like a lazy cow. On top of that, my mom calls me today to tell me that she heard that this kid I used to have a crush on in 8th grade (who I really have no idea why I liked. He had the personality of a wet mop. In fact, he reminds me very much of Lurch from the Adams Family.) has a girlfriend he's been dating for 2 years. And then I realized that my truly horrible ex-boyfriend (not just man bashing here, yes, he is a horrible person. Not just saying that cause he's my ex. Almost everyone who knows him agrees with me. I'm pretty sure Heather thinks he's the worst person in the world) also has a girlfriend who he's been seeing for at least 2 years (right after he "cut me off" by leaving for med school and never speaking to me again, not even to officially break up with me), which forces me to think upon my singleness, at state in which I've lived in for almost exactly 24 years of my life, and wonder what in the world is wrong with me??

If I didn't feel like enough of a fat lazy cow already, I'd be falling off the wagon and stuffing my face with cake and ice cream to try to drown out my sorrows. In fact, even though I feel like a fat lazy cow, I'd still be stuffing my face with cake and ice cream, if I had any in my apartment. But I don't, and I'm too lazy/miserable to go out and get some.

And please, no comments trying to make me feel better. I really don't want to hear it, and it never makes me feel any better.

God works in mysterious ways

I have an old car, a 93 Dodge Shadow, that I love. It's a great car that runs well, has good gas mileage, it still looks really nice, and best of all, it's cheap. I have no car payments, as well as ridiculously cheap insurance. It's awesome!

However, older cars do need tune ups and replacements and general maintenance, and I have become quite skilled at being in tune with my car's needs. And about 3 weeks ago, I noticed that my car sound a lot harsher when it was running than normal. I assumed it was that it needed a new muffler, as it still had the original one. So this weekend I took it into a shop near my parents, and within a day, it was done, yay!

However, upon picking it up, I discovered that God was looking out for me. My car did need a new muffler, yes, but the noise I was hearing wasn't from the muffler. It was from a broken joint on my exhaust pipe, which happened to be running right next to my gas tank. Had the joint completely broken off, or even partially fallen off, it could have been hitting the gas tank, and the metal joint against the metal gas tank could have caused sparks, so I could have possibly been looking at a potential car fire, or worse, an explosion. Yikes! Now that was the worst that could happen, and might not have ever occurred. But still, I was really glad that I didn't ignore the seemingly harmless albeit annoying loud noise my car was making. So I'm really thankful that God was looking out for me in this! :)

Amendment

As I was reading my devotional book last night, I realized I need to amend a few statements I said in my previous blog (Jekyll and Hyde, horses, and silversmiths).

I kept saying that being horrible and sinful was my true nature, when in fact, it's not. It's my old, familiar nature. It's the nature I was born into, but was never meant to have. I was never meant to be a sinner. The fall in Eden did that. But because now that I'm a Christian, the fight in me is God ripping away that old familiar nature to reveal the true me- a child of the King. :)

Jekyll and Hyde, horses, and silversmiths

A few days ago, when I got home from a miserably long day at work, I realized something. I am truly a horrible person. Truly. And since as Christians we're supposed to strive to be good, and be like Jesus, realizing how deep down I'm truly horrible threw me into a moment of dispair. My thoughts were running rampant and I struggled as always with myself. And then I came upon ANOTHER realization, one that made me feel a lot better, and was God-breathed into my subconcious, I'm certain, because the way I was feeling that day, I wouldn't have thought it on my own.

Let me explain. When I realized I was horrible, it's not that I'm horrible all the time. I struggle to do good, kind things, and behave in a manner similar to that of Jesus. And when I say I struggle, I do mean it. I practically have to bite off my tounge to not scream at people and tell them how I really feel sometimes, I have to practically sit on my hands to not slap someone or throttle them when they're being rude or nasty or obnoxious. And honestly, truly honestly? Often times, I want to be horrible. I want to be nasty sometimes. Sometimes, when I'm in a truly awful mood, it actually gives me pleasure to make everyone around me miserable too. (They do say misery loves company). When I realized I was horrible, it was a realization that deep down in my core, left to my own devices, and certainly if I was not a Christian, I would be the horrible witch that is residing in my soul. I wouldn't censor my thoughts and feelings and actions the way I do now and so I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would have little if any friends and more enemies than I could count. If you think I'm exaggerating, I can assure you I'm not. One day inside my head would convince you of that. Actually I guess you can just read the examples above to get a little glimpse of that.

So now it would make you wonder why I'm trying to convince you all how horrible I am. Why am I so horrible? Well, it's like Paul said. It's easier, certainly. I suppose because I was born a sinner, I have more of a tendency to want to be bad than good. But because of Jesus, although I want to be bad, I know it's wrong. So I struggle with myself, against myself, to rise above the sin that's in me so that Jesus and his goodness can fill me and shine through me. It's a daily battle that leaves me exhausted by the end of the day. Deep down inside of me, inside my heart and soul that no human can see but God can, I'm horrible. But because of God's grace and constant work in me, you don't see that. Sure, like everyone, I let my anger and temper and stubborness get the best of me sometimes, and people get a glimpse of the horrible nature I'm hiding. Well, not hiding exactly, subduing may be a better word. The thought that crossed my mind that made me feel better was God telling me that while I hate this constant struggle in me, while I hate to look inside myself and see how horrible I want to be and actually am sometimes, the fact that I'm struggling is awesome! Because my struggle means that Jesus is residing in me and working in me. That's the key! It's the reason why I hate when I'm being horrible, even when I want to be horrible. It's God working in me, influencing my life, making me better. He's scraping away all the rough edges, polishing me up, molding me into his image. I'm certainly not the finished workmanship God is desiring for me, no, I still struggle mightly with anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, grudges.... the list goes on. I'm exactly like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Except I was born Mr. Hyde- nasty and cruel and horrible- and through Jesus's influence, am becoming more like Dr. Jekyll-kind and gentle and good.

While I'm using metaphors to give you a description of my true nature, another great one is that I'm completely like a wild mare. Wild, independent, and untamed. And if anyone has seen wild horses, or horses that have been mistreated, you can see the great power they have. They can easily kill people or other horses in their fear and rage. In my true nature, I'm like that. Jesus is like the bit in my mouth, God is the master who tames me. Taming an unbroken horse requires great skill, patience, and love on the part of the trainer. It requires constant effort and usually needs to be repeated quite a bit. God has been taming me, Jesus is the bit that directs me where to go. And sure, like any horse, there are days when I want to act on my independent nature and go where I want to go. But that bit in my mouth is always there, and in the end, like the horse, I subdue to it. Although I'll admit quite often, I subdue to it only because every other option I've tried hasn't worked. :P And sometimes I subdue to God, albeit sulkily and miserable because of the circumstances surrounding me. What gives me great hope is that I know that I am made uniquely me. On better days, when I want to dispair at my horrible nature I keep fighting with, I am reminded that God made me this way. He made me to be very independent, so he knows I struggle with humbling myself. He made my fiery spirit, so he knows I struggle with my anger and temper. He made me capable of deep, loyal love, so he knows I struggle with bitterness when I'm betrayed. And yes, there are plenty of times when I struggle and my bad nature wins. But there are more times when I struggle and my good nature wins. And each time that happens, I look a little more like Jesus.

To end this blog, there are verses in the Bible that say that we as Christians are being refined, like silver. Honestly I can't quite remember where they are in the Bible, but they're there. In one of my online devotionals a while back, I read this story about a group of women in a Bible study who were discussing these verses. They wondered how silver was refined. What exactly is the process? So one woman set to find out. The next week, she came to the group in awe. Turns out that refining silver is hard work. In order for the silver to be refined and pure, to have all the impurities removed, the silversmith has to put the silver in an extremely hot fire. This helps melt all the impurities away. He can beat the silver on an anvil to shape it in the shape he wants. Painful! And during this entire process, the silversmith can't take his eyes off the silver, or else it could ruin. And most importantly... the woman asked the silversmith how he knew when the silver was done, and fully refined. He replied, "When I can see my reflection in it."

Amen. God shapes us and molds us in sometimes the most painful processes ever, but we can be assured and fearless because we know that he never takes his eyes off of us the entire time. And at the end, he sees himself in us. If that's not a beautiful hope, I don't know what is. :)

What do you say in a moment like this?

I remember a country song sung by Reba a few years back titled "What do you say." It was a sad song, and it's so true. I didn't realize how much till today.

I spoke to my dear friend and former college roommate Jess on the phone today. The poor thing is dealing with so much right now, more than anyone should have to handle. Her mother (whom she is really close to) has been struggling with ovarian cancer for years. However, the struggle has been much worse lately. Jess was speaking to me while at the hospital, at her mother's side. The doctors give her about 6 months now, if that.

On top of this, Jess has been going through a divorce that her husband has been making incredibly difficult. He seems to be getting some perverse pleasure in dragging it out and making her miserable, probably to punish her for divorcing him (although she had good reason to.... I won't air her private affairs on here, just trust me on this one). Some other things besides the divorce have had Jess struggling mightly with financial issues, as well.

My heart was (and still is) breaking for her. She is under so much stress and worry and anguish. I don't know how she feels, and don't know what to say or do to help her. "I'm sorry, I'll be praying for you" just doesn't seem sufficient. And it really sucked being on the phone, because I couldn't even give her a hug.

I'm so sad for her, hurting for her. I feel so helpless to do or say anything that could possibly help her or make her feel better. I will be praying, and will try to make myself available to her whenever she needs anything, but that may be a little difficult during the week as I'm in Ardmore and she's in Lancaster. Still, I'll do what I can. I just wish there was more I could do.

For any believers out there, please keep my friend Jess and her family in your thoughts and prayers. I know they could really use them.

Catch up, Happy Halloween

Ahh, the past week has been so busy! I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week and a half. Time to rectify that and let you know what I've been up to.

First, work's been crazy busy. It seems we never finish a project before another one is handed to us, so right now, I'm juggling a lot at work. And the one project I was just handed is NOT working at all. It's frustrating and annoying.

So my mental state is being pushed to the limit at work, and my physical state wasn't too great either. Two weeks ago I had experienced a decent pain in my right lower abdomen. After a lovely doctor visit I found out I had a decent sized cyst on my right ovary. Thankfully, after a follow up visit yesterday, I have found that it has broken up, but my doctor is still putting me on the pill to prevent the cyst from coming back.

Despite these problems, I headed to Lancaster for the weekend to visit my sister Britt and..... to see HANSON!!! It was great. The Chamelon Club is actually kind of small, it's basically a narrow old warehouse renovated to hold concerts and things. There was the lower level, where the stage was, and two upper levels looking down on the stage. Although Britt and I were in the back of the crowd on the first level, we were still closer that I'd ever been to the stage before. Close enough to read Taylor's T-shirt, which at first glance looked like it said "I love moving men." We were dying! Though we were fairly certain that's NOT what it said, so we kept trying to read it, and finally, I saw that it said "love movement" which made a little more sense. Anyway, they were great, they played more of their newer songs but three of the older ones (all of which I loved and could still sing every word to :) and I was so glad I FINALLY got to see them in concert.

And while I may think I'm a big Hanson fan.... many people beat me in that department. The girl in line in front of us not only drove 5 hours to get to the concert (from NY) but she's seen them 13 times previously and has a Hanson TATTOO! And I saw another girl in line with a Hanson tattoo as well. So you may think I'm crazy for still liking Hanson, but clearly, I'm not that crazy! :)

So tonight is my final bellydance class (at least with MainLine School Night) but my instructor has a studio right in Ardmore and I've been toying with the idea of signing up for some more classes. I really like it, it's been a great learning experience and tons of fun. I'm so glad I signed up for this class!

Anyway, this will probably be my last post for October, so have a happy Halloween to all! Can you believe the holidays are already upon us???

Gus Gus!

So when I was looking for my Elmo cookie pictures I came across some pictures I took of one of my really fat mice at work. I have two boys that were monsters at 8 months old. Amazingly, they're actually bigger now than they are in this picture, although they're almost a year old now. Well, only one mouse(I named him Gus, after the tubby mouse in Cinderella :) is in the pictures, but they are both big boys. I do love them, though. They are just so cute. All of my mice are special to me!

Corn chowder and Halloween sugar cookies!

Sunday was a great day! Since my aunt had a ton of corn fresh from the field, we took some to make homemade corn chowder. Yummmmm. I love it, but most of all, I loved the time I had making it with my mom. She used to make it all the time for our high school to sell in the snack bar at our football games.... it was always one of the first things to go. :)

After we made the corn chowder, we made sugar cookies! I love them, and it's a tradition in our house to make sugar cookies for the holidays. We have cookie cutters for Halloween, Easter, tons for Christmas, Valentines Day, and all the national holidays like Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Independence Day. It's so much fun making the cookies! And they are so delicious. For our halloween cookies, we made cookies in the shape of pumpkins, bats, and cats. We made little jack-o-lantern faces with sprinkles and icing for the pumpkins, and even for the bats. I took some into work to share and got rave reviews. :) And last December, I made homemade sugar cookies in the shape of Elmo for my former lab manager. They were for her son's preschool class to celebrate his birthday. That was quite an effort, since I had to handcut the cookies ( I didn't have a cookie cutter in the shape of Elmo) and I had to be very detailed in the icing and decorating so people knew it was Elmo. Thankfully, they came out great. :) In fact, here's a picture!


Anyway, after all the corn chowder making and cookie baking, we watched a home movie of Christmas in 1990. It's so funny seeing how people have changed since then! It was a great way to end my absolutely wonderful weekend. I had such a great time. And I can't wait for this weekend either, because the Hanson concert is Sunday! Can't wait!!!! :)

Zills

How could I have forgotten to mention how my bellydance class is coming along? :) At the end of last week's lesson, I bought zills (aka finger cymbals) from my instructor, with the instructions that I should put them together sometime during the week since we would learn how to play at the next lesson. While I did practice some of the bellydance moves this past week by walking around my apartment with a yearbook on my head while carrying a pumpkin on my hip (gets you to feel the natural movements) I managed to forget about the zills in my purse until an hour before I needed to leave for class. Whoops! Luckily they were easy to assemble. The most important thing is marking them so you know which finger they go on. They're placed on the middle finger and thumb of each hand, and since your thumb is fatter than the middle finger, you need to make sure you have the right cymbal fit for each finger! Because another important thing is making sure they're tight on the finger.... you don't want them flying off as you're dancing, that would not be good. :)

I was surprised to learn that there is more to playing the finger cymbals than I thought. First of all, you need to have them correctly on your fingers so that there is a 30 degree angle between them on the thumb and middle finger. This is so that they don't clomp together, like castanets. Correctly played, they sound like bells, which they should, since zills is the Turkish word for bell. Also, you want to play them by keeping your thumb relatively steady, while sliding the cymbal on your middle finger down over the cymbal on the thumb. Luckily, this is less complicated than it sounds! And the last thing is that you want to play most of the rhythms with your dominant hand. And so, with all this in mind, I can actually play the zills rather well! We learned how to play a very common rhythm found in bellydance that I'm practicing this week. The hardest part now is trying to play these rhythms while also trying to perform bellydance movements with the rest of my body. It's pretty funny to see, but as they say, practice makes perfect! :) I'll try to update next week on my progress!

Campfire!

So it appears that many of my blogs have been my raving about the wonders of fall (can you tell it's my favorite season? ;) and one of my many favorite things is campfires. Tonight my family gathered in the backyard for a campfire, set up by yours truly, the campfire making queen. Thank you, girl scouts. :P There were sixteen of us gathered around the fire, which was perfect and toasty warm for a cool autumn night like this. We had hotdogs to roast over the fire, along with chips and dip and maracroni salad, mmm. We also had boiled corn on the cob over the fire and then slathered butter and parmesan cheese on them. And of course, there's always smores! It was so much fun to sit around the campfire with friends and family. Later in the evening I went back up to my aunt and uncle's house to visit the kittens, who've grown a lot in the past two weeks! They're eating actual food now, they don't have to be fed from eyedroppers anymore. Newly christened Teddy (the chocolate brown boy, cause he looks like a teddy bear) and Pepper (cause she's all black) they came running to the door as soon as we walked in. They're so adorable, still so soft and fluffy with that downy kitten fur. They are precious. :) All in all, it was a perfect night. Yay for fall!

The beauty of Haverford College

Wow..... who would have thought we'd experience such gorgeous weather in the beginning of October?? Although I'm looking forward to the advent of cooler weather so I can finally wear the awesome new winter coat I bought recently at Target, I'm willing to put it off a bit to enjoy some last minute wonderful fall days! :)

Today was a free day all for me (though I fear those days shall soon be coming to an end, since I've been looking and applying for a part time job) so I wanted to use it well. I slept in, read a good book, ran some errands, and took a long beautiful walk outside to fully soak up the delightful weather.

I'm not sure if I've written about it here, but if I did, I apologize because I'm going to say it again- Haverford College, which is literally a block from my house, is a gorgeous campus and a veritable treasure trove in terms of the beauty of nature. I'm constantly amazed and awed by the beauty that is there, since it's an island of serenity amidst the chaotic busy-ness of the urban jungle that surrounds it. The entire campus is lovely, and I truly explored it today for the first time. All the buildings are stone, (the pic to the left are buildings on their campus) and have such an old feeling to them when you see them for the outside. I felt like I was walking around castles and fortresses of ancient times. They even have lamposts with lamps that you would have seen in colonial times! I walked past their library- Magill Library, I think it's called, and I would have loved to have gone inside. (I would have loved to see it from the inside to determine if it was nicer than the library at Mansfield University... I LOVED that library.) From the outside, it looked like a cathedral-castle, tucked into the trees the way it was, with high arches and barred windows.... the entrance to get there even had a stone curving bridge-type walkway that gave me the feeling of approaching the entrance of a castle. (See the picture below). It's also a much larger campus than I first thought. I walked around a for a good hour and I don't think I saw the entire campus.

The nature trail is a bit of heaven for me. When I walk it, I feel at home. If ever I'm feeling homesick for Berks county and my parents house, that's where I go. It feels like I'm back there again, walking on the beaten dirt trail covered with leaves and erupting tree roots, as you follow the path of the creek that's there. I love it so much, and today was no exception. It was so nice to just walk under the trees with the warm sunlight filtering through, listening to the birds chatter in the trees above me, feeling like I was at home. This picture to the right isn't of the nature trail, but it's of a scenic spot next to the library. It sort of reminds me of something out the "The Secret Garden." :)


On college ave, (pic below) the long entranceway leading to the campus from Lancaster Avenue, there's a huge elm tree with a bench underneath it. In the spring and summer, when the leaves are there, you could sit under the tree and no one would even be able to see you. It's pretty close to the duck pond that's at Haverford, and sitting at the bench today made me nostalgic for Millersville. Millersville also has a beautiful campus, with a lovely pond in the middle of it (nicer than the pond at Haverford, since it's centrally located and has much much lovlier landscaping around it). I used to sit on a bench under a gorgeous cherry blossom tree that grew next to the Millersville pond, the one that sat a few feet away from the gazebo that was there. It was tranquil and wonderful. I loved to sit there a few moments when I found myself especially stressed from school. It was fun to watch the ducks and the antics of the crazy, fearless squirrels (which I noticed Haverford has in abundance as well!) and just to take the time to think things through. We also had some huge shade trees surrounding the pond that reminded me of the Elm I sat under today. Sadly, Millersville had to cut down the one tree because it was so old it was in danger of falling over. I was sorry to see it go.

Anyway, it was a wonderful time today for me to reminisce and just enjoy the scenery around me. I hope everyone else took advantage of the gorgeous day today! :)

Bellydance

I signed up for a 4 week bellydance class through mainline school night, and yesterday was my first night. I got a little lost getting to the school (I really didn't realize that Conestoga high school in Berwyn would be so far off the beaten track, sheesh!) but once I got there, I was ready to try out the magic of bellydance!

My instructor is incredibly talented. She moves so smoothly, like liquid. Watching her makes me believe her bones are made of rubber, and compared to her, I look like a mummy, so stiff and stilted. :P It's much harder than it looks! She explained that in order to do the moves correctly, you really have to understand the history behind bellydance and the culture it comes from. Understanding the women of the middle east, and how these moves are completely natural for them, helps to visualize and feel the movements. I've been trying and practicing and it has gotten a little easier, though I definitely need more work!

I think one of the reasons it's hard for me to catch on to the movements is that bellydance is an expression of sensual femininity. It's embracing and celebrating who you are as a woman. I don't know how to embrace that feeling, really. Growing up in the U.S. it's hard to embrace yourself fully as a woman, because everywhere we turn, we're faced with people telling us we have to look and act a certain way in order to be beautiful. That we need to be a certain size, a certain shape, wear certain clothes, do certain things. Day after day we see and hear people telling us we're not good enough, but we should do this or that to become better. I try not to listen to that, but it's so hard. It's hard not to believe that.

More than anything, I hope this class helps me to forget what the world says about who I should be, and start accepting myself as I am.

Kittens!!

Sometime last week I discovered that my aunt, uncle, and cousins had discovered and are now carrying for two orphan kittens. They were so tiny that my aunt and uncle have been feeding them every couple hours with kitten formula and an eyedropper, because they were too young to even lap up milk yet. So Sunday afternoon, Britt and I went up to see them.

They are SO CUTE!!!! One is all black, and one is a chocolate brown color. They both have pretty blue-gray eyes. I checked them out and while it's still a little early to tell, I'm pretty sure that the black one is a girl and the brown one is a boy. They were just adorable. At one point, I was holding the black one, and she started sucking on the neckline of my shirt! Kittens will do that if they're separated from their mother too early. It's a comfort thing. It was so cute, though, and I felt very maternal holding such a tiny helpless kitten. After sucking on my neckline for a while, she curled up on the side of my neck and fell asleep. :) The brown one had passed out in Britty's arms a few minutes earlier. After a while they woke up again and were ready to play - they are very curious and playful, watching them is a trip. :) I so wish I could keep one of them, but I don't think Chico would appreciate that very much. They're pretty harmless to him now, but once they're grown, they won't be so harmless! I love them though, and I think my aunt and uncle are going to keep them, so I'll at least get to visit them every time I go home. :)

Fabulous first weekend for October!

Ahh, it's officially October! Definitely a good month. :) One of my favorites! And I rang in the beginning of the month in a totally awesome, fun-filled way!

Thursday night, my mom, aunt, and cousin Dee came to visit me (and because Dee was going to shadow me at work the next day). We went out to dinner at a sports bar in Ardmore that I love called JR Monahans. They have really good food, a great atmosphere, and FABULOUS desserts. Thursday night was no exception. My aunt and cousin split the resees peanut butter tower, and my mom and I split the toll house cookie dessert. It was a big toll house cookie all warm and delicious topped with ice cream and drizzled with fudge. It was soooo unbelievably good. :) Later that evening Dee and I watched "Last Holiday" a cute romantic movie starring Queen Latifah and L.L. Cool J.

Friday at work went really well, Dee did a great job and we went over a lot. Like me, seeing the mice was her favorite part. :) As a treat we went to the King of Prussia mall after work, and had a blast! I mostly window shopped, but did find a great pair of jeans for only 19.99 and since I could use a new pair, I bought them in a hurry. Before coming home we stopped at the ColdStone Creamery in the mall.... their ice cream is so good. I got the cake batter ice cream with fudge and brownies.... delicious! I love cake, I can't resist it. Ice cream is a very close second. So give me ice cream that tastes almost exactly like cake batter, and I'm in heaven! :)

Saturday it was heavenly to sleep in. Dee and I lounged around in the morning and watched "Forrest Gump" and then I had a quick interview for a part time job (which went well, yay!) and then, Dee and I headed toward Allentown to meet my mom and sister at Dorney Park! I got two free tickets for Dorney from Ben F.M. for doing the radio commercial, so that's why we went. We had SUCH a great time. It was gorgeous weather and the park wasn't too crowded, so we didn't have to wait too long to get on the rides. I haven't been there in a while so there were two new roller coasters- the Talon and Voodoo- that I hadn't tried before. I liked them but Steel Force is still my absolute favorite.

Now that it's October, starting 6 p.m. the park starts "Haunt" for halloween. There are actors dressed up in scary costumes wandering around the park, and there are 3 indoor haunted house type mazes and 3 outdoor ones. Kill hill, a scary clown based indoor maze, was definitely the best indoor maze, and cornstalkers was DEFINITELY the best outdoor maze. They're more startling than scary, and there were plenty of times when I was expecting someone/something and nearly jumped out of my skin! The neatest thing was that the park has fog machines set up, so it really gives the park a creepy ambience as you're wandering around. We stayed till 11 pm and had a really fun time.

Overall, it was a fabulous weekend and a perfect way to start October! :)

I've been tagged!

Yay! I've been tagged by Mary to list 6 random things about me. Then the rules are that I should tag other people, however... I don't really know many other bloggers besides Brian and Mary! All the other people who I actually know read my blog are non-bloggers, and the other blogs I love to read are fitness and writing blogs, I don't actually know the bloggers themselves. However, because I think it's fun, I'm still going to list 6 random things about me! The hardest part is narrowing it down to only 6...... :)

Well, here goes!

1. My favorite US President is (and always has been) Theodore Roosevelt. He was so cool and accomplished so much. He was so awesome, he finished giving a speech despite being shot! (Thankfully that assassination attempt failed... whew!)

2. Starting October 9, I'm going to be taking belly dance lessons! (Only for a couple weeks, it's through Main Line School Night, but it still sounded fun!)

3. I know more about car maintenance and repair than most guys I know (thanks Dad!)

4. I pretty much can quote the entire script of the movie Zoolander

5. I really, really dislike when people who are clearly not friends with me add me as a friend on facebook or myspace for the sole purpose of being either nosey or trying to have a million friends.

6. BBQ sauce is my favorite condiment.... I'll put it on almost anything.

So, there are a few random things about me to wrap up my September blogs. Can you believe it's almost October? Where did the time go!? However, it's all good, because with October comes cooler weather, which I'm looking forward to so that I can wear the sweet new coat I bought at Target on Sunday! Yay! :)

So many things to love about fall

There are so many things I love about the fall season, but one of my favorites is hot spiced apple cider. Mmmmmm. And here I sit, cozy and toasty warm, sipping hot spiced cider on this warm fall night while watching the Hayley Mills version of The Parent Trap (love this movie!) It's a lovely autumn night indeed... I can't wait for more! :)

Free Credit Report.com

I try not to watch too much TV, and when I do, most commercials really just annoy me. But some are very clever and I love watching them. One such commercial (or actually commercials, cause there are a few of them) are the freecreditreport.com commercials. They are so funny.... I wonder if the guy always singing the songs actually came up with the jingles himself, or if he's just an actor? Either way, I always stop what I'm doing and watch the commercial, despite the fact that I've seen them a hundred times. And then I'm constantly singing the songs the rest of the day. :) I don't know who thought of those commercials, but whoever did, they're a marketing genius, cause I always remember freecreditreport.com! :)

How could I forget?!?!

I can't believe I forgot to post something as huge as this.....

Over labor day weekend, I acquired two highly prized (to me at least) concert tickets at the chameleon club in Lancaster. And the tickets are for.....

Hanson!!!!!

Hahaha, I'm sure anyone who reads this is probably thinking one of three things:

1) Why in the world is she excited about seeing Hanson

2) Hanson is still in the music business??

3) Mmmmbop

Well. I have loved Hanson since they came on the music scene 10+ years ago. I jumped on the teen-crazed Hanson bandwagon with abandon, I could sing every song (inlcuding the mumbly song Mmmbop, and yes, I do still know it and can still sing it :) and I wanted to see them in concert so badly, but never got the chance.

Hanson dropped from the boy-band scene to become more of an Indie band, and really matured in their music and sound. I love all their music, from the old to the newest stuff. One of my favorite new songs is "Go" and I like it because it has a bit different sound- because Zach (the youngest brother) is singing the lead vocals (instead of Taylor, the middle brother).

In May, my sister Britt had texted me telling me that they were playing at the chameleon club, but I waited too long to get tickets and missed my chance. I was so upset. So when Britt told me they were coming again for their walk around the world tour, I immediately hopped on the computer and snagged two tickets. YAY!!!!! :D

The concert is at the end of October, so stay tuned for a blog about how it went!!! I can't wait!!!!

What I wonder every day

So sometime back in June I wrote a blog about the Princess Bride (one of my favorite movies, and just one of the best movies in film history) and today I'm going to blog about one of my other favorite movies, Ever After. I LOVE that movie. But my inspiration came from one of my favorite pieces of dialog in the movie, between Leonardo Da Vinci and Prince Henry. Prince Henry verbalizes everything I've ever thought about love in a way I could never seem to phrase. He hits it dead on.

Henry: "Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?"
Leonardo: "As a matter of fact, I do."
Henry: "Then how can you be certain to find them? And if you find them, are they really the one for you, or do you only think they are? And what if the person you're meant to be with never appears? Or she does, but you're too distracted to notice? "
Leonardo: "You learn to pay attention."
Henry: "Then, let's say, God puts two people on earth, and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well, then what? Is that it? Or perchance you meet someone new and marry again. Is that the lady you should be with? Or was it the first? And if the two of them are side by side, were they both the one for you and you just happen to meet the first one first, or is the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance....or are some things meant to be?"

Amen, Henry. I wonder this same thing every day.

Fabulous Birthday Weekend!

Unfortunately, both my sister and I forgot our digital cameras (stupid, I know!) and while we did take lots of pictures with store bought disposable cameras, I can't post them here, bummer. You'll just have to use your imagination.

Anyway, we got off to a later start on Friday then we wanted, so we didn't reach the beach house until 10:3o pm. However, what a beach house! It was so nice. Way nicer than what we normally stay in at a beach. Actually, Ocean City is just way better for us, considering most of my times at the beach have been spent at Wildwood, NJ, because my younger sister's twirling squad would perform on the boardwalk one week every summer, so.... that was our vacation. So coming to a fabulous large new beach house in lovely Ocean City already made the weekend great! It was so incredibly sweet and generous of Catherine (my landlady) to allow us to use her beach house free of charge for the weekend. She is so nice.

So if the lovely beach house wasn't enough, we had fabulous weather Saturday and Sunday. Sooo nice. Sunny, warm, a nice breeze coming off the ocean.... ahhh. Saturday morning we got up and had breakfast at some restuarant on the boardwalk, then browsed some of the shops a bit. Then we hit the beach! It was so nice. The water was a little cold, but it felt refreshing after laying out in the hot sun. We stayed on the beach for 4-5 hours or so, then headed back to the beach house to get cleaned up for dinner. We ended up at Jay's crab shack.... it was delicious, and the owner (that'd be Jay) was really friendly. We had a good time. We then headed back to the boardwalk, where we played mini golf, and I actually won! That's amazing, as I normally really stink at mini golf. Then we went shopping again, picking up some fudge at Laura's fudge shop (BEST fudge ever, their snickers fudge is my favorite!) and of course, hitting up a pirate store! Both Britt and I got pirate-related T-shirts, I got a cool leather bracelet (reminds me off my college friend Nikki.... man I miss her!) and I also got a "I heart Pirates" vinyl sticker that is now plastered on the back side window of my car. :)

Sunday was very much the same as Saturday. We awoke to gorgeous weather, then headed to the boardwalk for breakfast. Breakfast was not nearly so healthy as Saturday, since we passed a monkey bread stand and were hooked. Monkey bread, for anyone who hasn't had it before, is absolutely delicious. It's sort of like cinnamon rolls. It's small pieces of dough rolled in balls that are all stuck together. They're coated in butter and cinnamon sugar and brown sugar and baked so it's all gooey and melty and delicious. You can put icing over it or eat it just so. I learned how to make it many years ago when I was in girl scouts using an oven made out of a cardboard box with coals inside. I kid you not. Thanks to girl scouts, I can make something useful out of almost anything!

We hit the beach again on Sunday, and was treated to an air show over the beach from 1-3 pm. It started by having paratroopers jump out of planes (4 paratroopers in all) and every one landed in the designated spot blocked off on the beach. They had very impressive landings. Much better than I'd have done, I'm sure I'd have landed in the water somewhere. :P

Then there were acrobatic planes.... that was intense! I swear they were going to hit each other sometimes, they got so close.... but they never hit. It was amazing to see all the stunts they did with those planes.... better them than me, though! I'm sure I'd have passed out or gotten sick had I tried to do that. It was so neat to see though.

We were sad to have to leave, it would have been great to stay a few more days, but we had a fabulous time and really made the most of our weekend there. I think the best part was that it wasn't so crowded, now that it's the off season. Though there were plenty of people there, it was that extreme busy-ness that normally floods the summer. I loved being able to walk the boardwalk and not feel claustrophobic!

Anyway, there's my general recap of my birthday weekend. I really wasn't anxious to turn 25, but I must say, this past weekend was a great way to ring it in! :)

Happy birthday to me, I'm going to the beach...

Sing the title to the tune of the happy birthday song. :)

So, I'm 25 years old today.... a full quarter of a century. Yikes. It went so fast! And I'm not sure what I have to show for it....

I look back nostalgically on my last 25 years (oh, those were some good times!) and look forward to my next 25 with a mix of excitement/anticipation/trepidation/fear. When I realize just how fast these past 25 years went, I'm afraid I'll blink and miss what happens next! I don't know, some days I'm so happy and content where I am, and other days...... I feel the void of something missing and discontentment darkens my days. Hmmm. I'm not 100% sure what to do about that.

Anyway, enough pondering for now... in two hours I'll be heading to Ocean City NJ with my mom and younger sister to spend the weekend at the beach house my sweet landlady so kindly offered to us. It should just be a nice relaxing weekend with them, no matter what the weather, and I'm really looking forward to it. A detailed blog report to come in a few days. :)

my horrible secret........ and my radio clip!

Ok, so I've posted lots of things on this blog, some very trivial and silly and some very serious. Today I'm going to post something that I ordinarily would have never talked about before as it was something I was extremely self-conscious of. I know it's giving you all a glimpse of my vanity and while I know beauty is only skin deep and it really is on the inside that counts.... it's hard not to want the outside to look good, too!

So, here is my secret. Ever since middle school, I had been incredibly self conscious of my upper lip and chin....specifically, the hair there. :( Being of mediterranean descent, I have lots of dark coarse hair. Thanks Mom. Not only did I get your bad skin, but I have dark coarse hair on my FACE! What made it worse was that I couldn't even tell myself no one noticed- I definitely got teased about it (thank you, Tony Roth, Billy Reichle, and Jeremy Reinhardt... even though I know Tony was the evil mastermind behind it) Ever since that day in eighth grade, I had been obsessive about waxing, tweezing, bleaching... I was trying to make absolutely certain no hair could be seen. However, that was MUCH easier said than done. It was a tireless effort where no matter what I did, things just seemed to get worse, and I could never completely get rid of/hide the hair. I hated it.

So, why am I basically telling anyone who has internet my horrible secret? Simple.... thanks to laser hair removal, it's fixed for good now! I don't have to worry about telling people and then having them stare at my problem spots, because I don't have any anymore! I know some people would just say I'm being vain. Maybe they're right. But I feel a lot better about myself now.... I'm more myself. At the end of my rope, I had researched a lot of places and came upon Bella Medspa, a laser hair removal treatment center that had a location right in Ardmore. They had great prices and were extremely professional and helpful. I had a great experience with them and in turn, wrote a good review on their website... and like I said in a previous blog, they then asked me to help them out by doing a radio ad!

So for anyone who didn't hear the ad on the radio, Bella Medspa has a picture of myself in the Ben FM studio, as well as an online version of the radio clip. It was a lot of fun, and so not only do I have great results, I got to be on the radio too! :) Here's the link to Bella Medspa's website if you'd like to check out my radio clip!

http://www.bellamedspaonline.com/blog/2008/08/12/laser-hair-removal-customer-testimonial-recording-for-ben-fm/

"Jen's Favs" CD

While I am sadly behind in the times, and do not have iTunes or an iPod or MP3 player or a fancy cell phone or hi-tech computer, both my sisters do have at least one or two of these items. Both of them definitely have (and love) iTunes. For my 25 birthday (eek it's almost here!) my younger sister Britt made me a CD of some of my favorite songs. Now, I am a Christian, and I do love Christian music. However, I love all other types of music as well and I'm not one of those Christians who only listens to Christian and classical music and bans everything else. First off, there is a lot of good music that is not "Christian" and secondly, how can we as Christians relate in any way to people with different beliefs if we closet ourselves up and have nothing in common with them? With that said, this CD actually holds no Christian music (though I have tons of favorite songs of the Christian genre... maybe Britty can make me another CD ;) Anyway, some of my favorite songs include:

-Under Pressure (the version with Queen and David Bowie is the best, I love David Bowie's voice. Despite being utterly creepy looking in the movie "The Labrynth" he completely transfixed me and I've loved him ever since. Weird, I know)

-Peace of Mind (By Boston.... I want to play the guitar so badly just so that I can play the intro to this song)

-Wonderboy (Tenacious D- such a silly song but I LOVE it and can sing it word for word ever since I first heard Mitch, Shaun, and Monty sing it at Karaoke back in college)

-Sweet Child O' Mine (Guns & Roses)

-Adiemus (a haunting song by Enya we performed in indoor guard back in high school- my favorite routine EVER)

-Hero (Enrique Iglesias)

-Mortal Kombat theme song (love that movie... I have a weakness for sci-fi movies and if you combine it with heart pumping music, I'll love it even more :)

-Untitled (Simple Plan). If you haven't seen the music video to the Untitled song by Simple Plan, do it now. Here's the link- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2lhkCQkhu8 it's such a fantastic video, very haunting, I get goosebumps everytime I watch it. It's a really powerful message and I love the song. One of the most sobering things is how you see how the event in the video affects the whole family.

There are a few more songs on the CD, and I have to give Britt a shout out of thanks because it was an awesome, thoughtful gift. I love it Britty and have been listening to it constantly! :)

Concert, Amen, Good God

Last night I drove up to Philadelphia Biblical University to attend a free concert, featuring Christian music artist Shaun Groves. I met my friends Brian and Mary Hand (Brian attends PBU, which is how I found out about the concert) and we settled in, not really knowing what to expect. I'd heard of Shaun Groves, and had heard one or two songs of his on the radio (and liked them) but really didn't know much about him.

It turns out that Shaun is a very talented singer, guitarist, and pianist, but more than that, he's incredibly witty and charismatic. He was so funny and held the audience in the palm of his hand. He had some goofy songs (one about shopping at a flea market in Montgomery) and other serious songs. At one part during the concert, he had some of the lyrics of his songs projected on screens so we could sing along. One song that particularly touched me was called "Amen." Here are the lyrics.

My body breaks beneath the weight
Of toil and trouble, fears and fights
Sickness in me, world against me
I cry to You tonight

Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy
Holy Healer
Strength within
Pass me not
Forsake me not, Lord
Amen

My enemies are whispering
They pray my name may die
So few to trust, so few are just
I cry to You tonight

Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy
Faithful Brother
Closest Friend
Pass me not
Forsake me not, Lord
Amen, Amen

My heart is dim, It’s always been
I turn from what is right
Passions of youth tear me from truth
I cry to You tonight

Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy
Sinless Savior
Judge of men
Pass me not
Forsake me not, Lord
Amen, Amen

It was a beautiful song, with words that echo feelings I've often felt. Sometimes it feels like I have the world on my shoulders. Sometimes it feels like God is so far away. Thankfully for me, God is merciful and gracious and forgiving, and constant. Though I may feel oppressed and far from God, he is near and willing to take me as I am, flaws and all. I just need to reach out and accept his love. And that's a promise he's made to not just me, but to everyone.

That's a good God.

Labor Day Festivities

Ah, Labor Day Weekend... such a great time, signaling the end of summer. I took Friday off so I could have a four day weekend, which was looovely! I started it off by sleeping in, which was so nice. Then I hit the gym, showered and packed my things, and headed toward Kutztown. I ended up going out to lunch with my mom, and then coming home to the power out, so I took my Dad out to lunch later so he could get something to eat. It was nice to have the separate times with my parents. Luckily the power came back on quickly though. Friday night I just mostly relaxed, which I needed. Saturday, my mom and sister and I went to the movies and saw Tropic Thunder. There were parts of it that were really funny, but lots of parts that were really crude. And there was a lot of bad language I thought was really unnecessary and kind of ruined it for me. Overall, Zoolander is still my all time favorite Ben Stiller movie.

Saturday night, we had a cookout and then a movie night in my Dad's shop (located right next to our house). See, my Dad has loved photography and film for a long time, and for as long as I can remember, he's had movie film and the movie projector that he can show our homemade family movies with. So he set up the screen and projectors in his shop. Britt and I ran the concession stand, handing out fresh popcorn and candy and drinks. Everyone loved it. Saturday night we watched the 30's Frankenstein trilogy (my Dad gets a lot of movie films off E-bay now) followed by some home movies. We did it again Monday night, where we started out with a Tom and Jerry cartoon, followed by the Towering Inferno, followed by family movies. Saturday night was really special, as we got to see movies of my Dad and his brothers and sisters and my grandparents when they were young. The neatest thing was seeing my great-grandmother Lillian on film. She passed away before I was born, so I never knew her. It was a neat moment to watch her on screen.

Sunday we had a big family breakfast, including my cousin Dee, who had slept over the night before. Later in the day we went shopping a bit, where I picked up a cool purse, some books, and an awesome pair of boots I can't wait to try out.... come on, colder weather! :) And then later, we had another cookout, followed by swimming, and then a campfire, set up by yours truly. :) At least I know I learned one thing in girl scouts! It was so nice sitting by the fire, making smores and hanging with my family. We had such a good time.

Monday was yet ANOTHER cookout, followed by the movie night again. I didn't make it back into Philly until late at night, but it was worth it for such a great weekend. Hopefully everyone else had an enjoyable labor day as well!

Mice and Jesus

Sometimes, I can find God in the simplest things.

I love my mice at work. I don't think I would like my job nearly as much if I didn't get to play with them and take care of them every day. I adore the young pups when they're around 2 weeks old. They are just so adorable and soft and funny to watch. Around two weeks old they're dubbed "popcorn mice" because they're so jumpy, they bounce everywhere, like tiny little Tiggers (from Winnie the Pooh). Yet I love my old mice too, I have two boys who are going on 10 months old who are so fat. I'm not sure why, they don't have special food to make them that way, or have a genetic knockout or anything. But they look like black beanbags, they're that fat. If I hold them, they take up the entire palm of my hand. It's pretty comical to see. Anyway, young or old, I take good care of all my mice and love each one.

But sometimes it's hard to love them, because as we're using them in the context of research, I need to study them and yes, sometimes sacrifice them. It's here where I'm reminded so much of God.

The mice remind me of Jesus. It seems funny, but it's true. The mice are sweet and innocent, and have been born into the lab for a purpose, and that purpose is to save human lives. Like Jesus, they are innocent creatures who were born to die, to save us. Now of course, I'm NOT saying that the mice are in any way equal to Jesus and all that he did for us, I'm just saying that as I work with my mice, I'm reminded (and so thankful and grateful) for the sacrifice Jesus made for me.

And in a tiny way (again, NOT equating myself with God) I'm reminded of how God must have felt to see Jesus on earth. To watch over him, and take care of him, all the while knowing his purpose and then letting it happen. It can be really hard, and I'm sure God's heart was breaking as he watched his son suffer for all the wrongs we've done. My heart breaks a little every time I have to take a mouse. I have to always remind myself of the people who will benefit from this little life.

So to end this blog, I think it's a good reminder for us to be thankful for all the sacrifices made for us- for the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made for us, and for the small sacrifices these research animals make for us.

Concert time!

This past Saturday, I and my sister Britt and our friend Paula drove up to Montage Mountain for a Taylor Swift/Rascal Flatts concert. I was really excited, as Rascal Flatts is one of my favorite bands. They're so talented and I love their songs. I've never seen them in concert before either, so that made it even more exciting! I had seen Taylor Swift before, last August I saw her at the Allentown Fair along with Jack Ingram, Kelly Pickler, and Brad Paisley. THAT was an awesome show!! I loved it. Taylor Swift is so cute, plus, I have a lot of respect for her, as she writes her own songs. In fact, for those who read this who don't know, she's the youngest country artist to ever have written/co-written every song on her platinum selling album. Wow!

So we get to Montage Mountain and it is PACKED. There were soo many people! But we made our way through the crowd to find our seats, which turned out to be AWESOME!!! We were in the 27 row, which is really close to the front for a concert. If I had thrown a baseball as hard as I could, I could've hit the stage, we were that close. Which was great because it was such a great show! I had such a good time, I'm so glad I had that time with Britt and Paula. Taylor sang a new song that will be on her upcoming album (out in November) that's been debuted at the Olympics. I really liked it alot, I believe it's called "Change" but I'm not 100% sure. And Rascal Flatts was AMAZING. The opening was phenomenal, and it was so high energy and they sang almost all my favorite songs, some of which are "Feels like Today," "God bless the broken road" and their cover of "Life is a highway" which they did for the Disney/Pixar movie Cars. We had such a great time!

Anyway, Britt and Paula took a million pictures, so if I ever get some from them, I'll post some for your viewing pleasure.

Myrtle Beach pictures!

Here are some pictures of my trip to Myrtle Beach, enjoy!

Britt, Beth and I


All of us at Planet Hollywood





The view of the beach from our hotel... it was so close, and the weather was great the whole week!

All of us (me, Britt, Danielle, Kyle, Paula, Maria, Steve, and Beth) at Captain George's Seafood Buffet.... absolutely DELICIOUS :)

Our hotel.... it was so nice, even if it was a little smaller than last years

Fall is in the air

Ahhh, fall.... my absolute favorite season. I hate when it's too hot, and I especially hate humidity. Thus, the advent of fall is a joyous time for me. It snuck up on me this year, I didn't realize how close it was until I woke up to go to the gym yesterday. I like to go to the gym early, around 5:30 am, and when I woke up to get ready, it was still dark. When did that happen? That is a bummer about fall, I hate the shorter days. Winter is absolutely depressing when it gets dark by 4:30 pm. But anyway, another thing I had noticed was that it's been cooler in the early morning as well. I can't wait till the leaves start changing, and the air has the crisp briskness to it, and I can start wearing sweaters and long sleeves again. No matter how much weight I lose, I'll always feel more comfortable the more covered up I am. :P

Fall's a great time because I love the holidays around that time- Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (yes I know Christmas is in winter, but we start getting ready for it right after Thanksgiving at my house, so close enough). I used to love going back to school too. There was such anticipation, I loved buying my school supplies, and picking out my outfit for the first day back. Sigh.... I miss school. I really do. If I could, I'd be a professional student for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I'm excited for the new season. Fall, hurry up already! :)

Beach Time! :)

So last week I took a hard-earned break and headed down to Myrtle Beach with my younger sister and some friends. There were eight of us total, and we had a blast. Great weather, the only day it rained was Wednesday. Our hotel was really nice and closer to more things than the one we'd had last year, although this one was smaller. However, we were very inventive on keeping space and working things out with showers and sleeping arrangements, so everyone was happy. I had just a fantastic time hanging out with my sister and our friends Paula, Danielle, and Kyle, as well as making new friends with Steve, Beth, and Maria.

Besides for the wonderful time at the beach (where I didn't burn but got nice and tan, yay!) some of the highights of the week were our dinner spots- we tried Sticky Fingers (if you like barbeque and barbeque sauces, you'll LOVE sticky fingers.... I know I did!) Planet Hollywood (really tasty drinks there as well as fabulous salad choices, yum) Dick's Last Resort (the restaurant where the staff is purposely mean and obnoxious... last year was more fun, and honestly, it's kind of crude. I didn't really enjoy myself this year) and Captain George's Seafood Buffet (UNBELIEVABLY delicious, plus a huge spread of food, though it is pricey. However, it's worth it!) Other highlights included time at Broadway at the Beach, where Britt and Paula and I got henna tatoos (I got a butterfly on my ankle, Britt got a butterfly on her shoulder, and Paula got a fairy on her lower back). Britt and I also posed as Old West saloon girls for those Old Fashioned Pictures... we love them! This one was my best one I've done so far. I've had five done so far.... two were old Victorian ones of my whole family, one was of my older sister and I as an angel and a devil, one was my sisters and I as 40's gangsters, and now the latest is this saloon girl one with my younger sister and I. It's so much fun to dress up!

So that was a bit of my vacation, pictures to come! :)

The American Dream? Or the American Nightmare?

I just read a terrible story on cnn.com where nine people were killed in a car crash in Arizona, and 10 more were injured. These 19 people were all in the same car, and apparently were illegal immigrants. That so many people were killed or injured is horrible enough, but what was truly disturbing to me were the terrible, malicious comments people left about the story. Namely, that they were glad nine of the "illegals" died, though they were complaining we still have to "take care of ten more." Also, people were happy that "no Americans died."

What is this? How can people rejoice in the death of others, no matter what the situation? Quite frankly, illegal or otherwise, Mexican people are some of the hardest working people I know. And ironically, I'm sure most of the people complaining on that site are people who would never stoop so low as to do the jobs the illegal Mexicans are doing. I was taught that there is no shame in working, in working ANY job. And to take pride in whatever you do, do matter how simple or complex, or how much or little money you make doing it. However, I've found that I'm quite in the minority with a mindset such as this. People just assume if I'm doing a menial job, I have no ambition. Most people assume that about anyone doing a menial, simple task. And that's really wrong, and sad. Whatever happened to the hard work ethic of American people? When did the American Dream consume us to the point of sucking out our souls? We have no compassion, no pride in good, honest work. We put a price tag on everything, and expect and demand nothing less than the best, no matter what it costs, or who it hurts. How did this happen? How did we get to this point? And more importantly, how do we get out of this?

Augh, the perils of science :P

I like to do so many things, why did I ever decide to choose scientific research as a profession? Most people do not realize the insanity that ensues when trying to discover something that a masterful God created. Everyone laughs when Thomas Edison took two thousand tries before creating the light bulb, but have you ever thought how frustrating that must have been? And the amount of patience and persistance it took?

Well, I know. And being that I am not very patient, sometimes my job gets the best of me. Sometimes going to work is like heading into a battle. Lately I've been battling the PCR machine and losing. Badly:( For those reading who aren't scientifically minded, a PCR machine is a nifty little machine that basically amplifies DNA over and over again. So you put in a little amount of DNA, it replicates it so you have a lot of DNA, and then you can further use the DNA for whatever you want (in my case, I'm checking the genotypes of mice). However, this little machine is very precise, and if anything gets contaminated or is off in any type of way, your results are basically crap. And trust me, it's easy to mess things up. This week, the PCR is all messed up, and I'm thinking it's because I came into work on Monday only to find that the door to the freezer where I keep all my reagents was left slightly ajar. ALL WEEKEND. Hence, most of the things inside the freezer had thawed. CRAP. So now I have to go through and basically "guess and test" all the reagents to see which one (or ones) isn't working. It's tiring, it's tedious, and I'm thoroughly sick of it. Thank goodness my vacation starts Friday at 5 pm! I cannot wait!

I'm on the radio!

So I haven't posted much recently, but last week was somewhat busy for me. My boss was in Colorado for a heart conference, so I was swamped with stuff at work she had given me before she left. But an exciting thing that happened last week was that last Monday, I went to the Ben FM radio station down on City Line Avenue and recorded a commercial for Bella Medspa! It was a really cool experience. I've been a customer of Bella Medspa and they've been fantastic. I wrote a review on their website, and they must have liked it, because that's why they asked me if I'd help them with the commercial (I'm on air talking about my experience with them). So if you ever hear a commercial for Bella Medspa, you may be hearing me! It's 95.7 by the way. ;)

Anyway, this week isn't going to be as exciting, and I'm hoping the week doesn't drag too long, which is probably will since I'm going on vacation Friday night! The anticipation always makes the days seem longer. I'm really excited for this vacation, I haven't had any days off since March (with the exception of Memorial Day and July 4) so I'm needing a break! Like last year, my younger sister and I are heading down to Myrtle beach with a bunch of our friends, we're leaving Friday night around midnight. Can't wait! :)

Fairest

I'll openly admit that I love to read, and not just thick adult novels off of Opera's must-read list. I love the simplicity and fun plots of children and young adults books too. One of my absolute favorite books of all time is Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine. And I mean the story from the actual book, not that miserable nonsense they call a movie. It really only shares the title, I refuse to watch that monstrosity. But back to the point, Gail Carson Levine is a fabulous author. She weaves fantasy tales the way spiders do webs. Ella Enchanted is the best fractured fairy tale I've ever read- it's a version of Cinderella, for anyone who's never heard of the book. Anyway, as I was browsing through the books at Target last week, it was all I could do to keep from shrieking when I saw a new book by Gail called Fairest. This time it's a version of Snow White.

Like all her stories, it's fabulous. I was sucked in immediately and read it in one sitting. The point of the story is beauty- what true beauty really is. The protaganist and main character is Aza- who is, by the standards of her fellow people, ugly. Though she is blessed with an amazing voice. The underlying points of the story follows how Aza struggles with her self esteem, and how the pursuit of beauty affects people. It's a really good story that everyone can learn from, especially in today's society, where physical beauty is revered over so many things, and people will go to great lengths to become beautiful (or stay beautiful). It brings to mind an episode of the Twilight Zone I had seen. It opens up in a hospital room, where a bunch of doctors are surrounding a woman in a hospital bed. She has bandages all over her face. Through the dialog, we understand that the woman was severely ugly and deformed, and this surgery was performed in hopes of "fixing" her face, and making her beautiful. However, there were no guarentees, and the doctors warn her before they take the bandages off that the surgery may not have worked. Now, the whole time, we've never actually seen the doctors faces. Once they remove the bandages, there are shrieks of horror, and sobbing, and everyone proclaims in sadness that the procedure didn't work, she's still so ugly. Then we're shown the woman, and she is (to us) a beautiful woman! Then we finally see the doctors, and they have wide, contorted faces, with large blunt noses, long chins, and enormous foreheads. The episode ends with a handsome man coming to escort the woman away to a small sanctuary where the "ugly" people stay, amongst themselves, so they're not a burden to the rest of society. The main point was obviously that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And that's also the case in Fairest. At the end, Aza does marry her prince, who fell in love with her from the very beginning, because of her kind, sweet soul, and her many other attributes that make people truly lovely. I'm glad I read it. Like probably everyone, I often struggle with my self esteem, I'm probably my own worst critic. Just the other day I thought to myself, "I have a face for radio, and a voice for silent movies." I had to shake myself out of those negative thoughts, but it is hard. Every day we're constantly bombarded with images of "perfect" people, and I don't live up to that. No one does, because the people in movies have tons of makeup on, their hair is constantly styled by professionals, their clothing perfectly picked out to best flatter their body. In magazines, it's the same deal, except they can also be airbrushed to perfection (which they often are). I know this, yet I have to remind myself again, and again, and again. So books like Fairest are such a comfort to me, and a good reminder as well. I've been blessed so much, and while I may not be perfect in the world's eyes, I am me, made by God, who never makes mistakes, and who has made me perfect in him. Thank you, God!

Goodbye, Grissom

So I don't watch too much TV- first, because I didn't grow up with it so it's not a huge factor in my life, but secondly, because most of it is just plain crap anyway. But one of the shows that I do watch and love (despite the fact that I find things wrong with it all the time) is CSI. The original CSI, set in Las Vegas, has always been my favorite, although I have to honestly say that CSI:NY snuck up as my favorite this past season. But to get to the point, I just found out that Grissom, the head of the CSI lab, will be leaving the show halfway through this coming season. I was so incredibly sad to hear that, he's definitely my favorite character and the show won't be the same without him. I'm pretty sure most people feel that way, so I'm banking that this last season coming up will probably be the last run. Grissom (played by William Peterson) was just amazing, and completely carried the show. Although don't get me wrong, I love a lot of the other characters (Greg especially!) but without Grissom.... I just don't think I'll be able to watch anymore. :( Sniff. Goodbye, Grissom, you will be missed!

What if I stumble?

I love this song... It articulates how I feel so often... I don't want to let fear rule my life anymore.

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians- who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord? Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford? You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame Cause I see the trust in their eyes Though the sky is falling They need Your love in their lives Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble, and what if I fall? What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose The fear that lives within me Or the rate at which it grows If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing? This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble, and what if I fall? What if I stumble?

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that You're up against a wall, it's about to fall Everyone's got to crawl when you know that I hear You whispering my name [You say] "My love for You will never change" [never change]

What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble, and what if I fall? What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all What if I stumble, what if I fall? You are my comfort, and my GodIs this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REkHgHSYaSk

Change of Plans

Well, I was planning on staying home in Ardmore this weekend, but with the heavy heat wave that arrived mid-week, I packed up and headed to my parents house and swimming pool. It was so nice to just lay out and swim and tan this weekend. Saturday night I went shopping with my mom, and had a great time! I picked up a few things I really needed, and my mom found some pretty tops and skirts and jewelery. It was a nice girls night.

This morning, I faced a bit of a challenge deciding where to go to Church. Did I want to drive back to Lansdale to my own Church? Should I go to my parents new Church in Hamburg? Or should I go to my old home Church in Kutztown? I thought a lot about it and decided on going to my old home Church in Kutztown. While I miss going to LPC and haven't been there in a while due to coming home for the summer, I left Grace Church with a lot of hurt feelings, bitterness, and unforgiveness in my heart. I've been praying a lot lately about it and have really wanted to change, and drop these burdens and grudges I've been carrying for so long. I need and long for healing, and I was hoping that going there today would help.

So, I prayed this morning, specifically asking to see the Church and the people in it the way God does. To look on them with love, instead of bitter hurt. And I'm so glad I went. I got to see and talk to a lot of people today, and was reminded that many of them still love and care for me and my family and miss us. I was reminded of all the good memories that I did have there. While a lot of bad things did happen there, there were so many great memories I have and wonderful things that happened to me while I attended Grace. I don't want to forget or overlook that. And while I still think I have a way to go, I feel that this morning really helped the healing process along for me. I feel lighter and more peaceful than I have in a long time. I thank God for my time at Grace. Through the good and the bad, I'm the person I am today because of it.

More words of wisdom :)

Continuing my time of trying to prepare myself and learn more about relationships and marriage, I met with a younger couple from my Church, Brian and Mary Hand. I had a wonderful time of fellowship with them, and learned a lot about relationships in general. Like Pam and Steve, they gave me a lot to think about and I feel very blessed to not only know them, but to count them as friends and to have been able to speak so candidly about questions, worries, concerns, and general thoughts about relationships.

From Brian and Mary, I learned that key aspects to any relationship are good communication, flexibility, and the ability to compromise with one another. They mentioned that while marriage is wonderful, a true gift from God, (who should be at the center of the relationship, first and foremost) it isn't a fairy tale either. There are hum drum days, just like when you're single. As Mary said, it's not this utopia that will all of the sudden make your life complete and wonderful. It does take work, and also, it's good to check yourself and make sure you're not putting these unrealistic expectations on the other person. Also, they couldn't speak more highly of pre-marital counseling. They actually went to Pam and Steve for their pre-marital counseling, and said it definitely helped prepare them for marriage. Pam and Steve went over hard questions that most people don't think of or want to face, and it's good to think of these things before entering into the commitment of marriage. Accountability in general is a good thing when entering into a new relationship as well. Getting outside perspectives can help affirm a good relationship, or help you see clearly that something may not be the best thing. Mary also said something very wise that stuck with me tonight- "no matter how lonely you may feel when your single, entering into marriage with the wrong person will be so much lonelier."

Brian also wisely mentioned that in my love for my family, one of the things I can do to prepare myself for a future relationship is to look for someone family oriented, as well. Also, to be prepared (if entering into marriage) to start a new family, and be able to make my husband my first priority, not my parents. Which is true and a very good point, and something I've recognized recently. I'm enjoying my time with my parents now, knowing that in the future, whenever it may be, I may not have the freedom to visit as often as I do now, so I treasure the moments I have with them now.

Overall, I had such a great time with them and I really learned a lot. It's been great to be able to glean such wisdom from these two couples and I've been blessed so much already. I hope for any singles reading my blog (or even married couples!) these words of wisdom help you as well. :)